Tomorrow never comes! That is what they say… But is that true?
Do not do what you really should do! Just don’t. But avoid the issue consciously. Out of the chaos and mess that you are in something incredibly beautiful and useful can grow.
The reason for this blog was an insight I had the other day.
The realisation was that procrastination has become a real habit and one that I normally do not notice. The small jobs that just need to be done…I just pretend they do not exist. The garbage really has to scream at me before I change the bags. Same with administration, the gym, everything that one does not enjoy doing.
And it’s the word unconscious that is really important here. I don’t notice it. Until I notice it! And when I do notice it: it’s really fun! Because now it becomes a conscious decision not to take the dustbin out, not to do the administration when it needs to be done, not to go to the gym. I just notice the pile of administration, my patiently waiting sportsbag near the front door, the full dustbin.
I do not think : “Wow, look at how much I resist this job. Mmmm, it must be this resistance that creates this uncomfortable feeling inside..” No. That is not what I think. I do not think anything. I just feel uncomfortable, maybe a little guilty, just a bit heavy…..
And what do I do? I do nothing. At least not in the area of administration, garbage, gym…. Of course I do lots of other very important, useful and powerful things. People even admire me for it! “My god, are you working again this weekend? Do you facilitate another training? You cook for 25 people for a whole week? etc. etc.”
Do you recognize that?
The things that have been programmed as being fun, easy, enjoyable and rewarding, I do them with ease. Even the huge ones like cooking for 25 people for 10 days in a row (while not being a cook) or traveling to the other side of the world to do a training. Other people will not even think about doing these….they will resist the idea. I do those things. I do big confronting, difficult and expensive things easier than small obvious necessary and normal things.
It’s a bit like buying a house more easily than buying a nail clipper. Yep that’s me!
So now I have challenged myself to really consciously experience my uncomfortable feelings and I challenge you as well to join me. When I feel uncomfortable, immediately I slow down and notice what resistance I experience now. What is the feeling and can I allow myself to really feel it and allow it to be there (instead of running off to do something else that gives me a great feeling) Will you join me?
In a small Indian village there was this old broken bus. The engine needed to be fixed, it had to go to a garage but nobody knew how to fix that. Nobody could think of how to arrange that. In order to do something to feel better the whole village started to paint the bus. So instead of finding the right person to fix the problem, instead of gathering the money to get the problem solved they happily started painting the bus.
I see myself painting the bus all the time. Do you also paint the bus sometimes?
Arrange and create all kinds of things around the issue but not get to the core of it. Let me know in which situations you paint the bus. I challenge you to find that situation and share it with me. Let’s become aware where resistance hits us and let us get ready for a great breakthrough!
When I go back to my small experiment I will by now quickly recognize that the uncomfortable feeling is being caused by my resistance to really get to the core of the business. I allow myself to feel whatever feeling comes up and I welcome it all. When those feelings and the resistance have been released I have a clear head and I can make better decisions and have more energy to handle the issue.
I have now decided to take action immediately when I notice my habit of procrastination. No more thinking, no more painting the bus, just do whatever needs to be done and do it straight away!! Break the patterns! And guess what! You will be rewarded immediately!
Believe it or not, after doing this for a few days I received a phonecall out of the blue telling me that I will get 1500 euro for something that I had not expected to get paid for. A direct reward for changing patterns and breaking habits!!
What happened is that I created the space, literally and figuratively speaking!
So my suggestion is ; ”Notice your behavior and the procrastination and postponing and welcome all the feelings that it brings about. You will find that it is not the job or the issue that makes you feel bad. It’s the resistance!!
So for our clarity:
- Postpone, procrastinate, linger over things
- Allow the feeling, welcome it, notice the resistance
- Procrastinate again but now consciously (because you have found out that it is not the actual job or issue you don’t like but it is the resistance that makes you feel bad)
- Let go of the resistance and decide (just for a couple of days) to do what needs to be done immediately. Do this as an experiment!
- Please don’t tell yourself that you have to do this forever (because than our friend resistance will pop up again)
And last but not least, resistance to something is usually also resistance to everything. Just check this out! You resist doing the dishes but you also resist not doing the dishes, you resist going to the gym but maybe you even more resist not going to the gym. Check it out in your own life, find your resistance, let it go and action! Please comment and let me know how it works for you!
This really is a fun experiment!