Imagine you have a meeting with one of your employees or colleagues. The relationship with this person has been sort of troubled for years..
Why? You don’t know. You sense something but you have no clue why it feels as if this person does not like you.
Because that’s how it feels: “He doesn’t like me”.
Are you sure that is true? Do you really think that that is true?
Let us look at this situation in more detail. Does it feel as if the person wants to have control? (Please answer this question as honestly as possible, and by now you will think of someone in your life that you have a bit of a problem with…)
so…. Yes, it feels as if this person wants to control you. And because you feel that, your reaction to this person is defensive. Will always be defensive (this whole process just happens without you noticing any of it, it’s unconscious. All this is happening in your subconscious mind).
So, a minute ago all you felt was that the other person didn’t like you and in this moment you feel the other person wants to control you . Your defensive reaction was of course also unconscious.
Please read this again and think of this person once more. (I presume by now you have a person in mind that you would like to feel better about, a colleague, your partner, your mum, whatever)
Now see if it feels as if the other person wants to have control over you. If the answer is yes, ask yourself the following question: Could I let go of wanting to control them back? or : Could I let go of wanting to defend myself that way?
Even if you don’t feel like it you let this want go for this moment. Just as an experiment!
How does it feel? Can you give this person the right to be who this person is? And remember that this is just a decision! Even if it doesn’t really feel like you want to do this, you decide to do so. Just for now, as an experiment.
You give this person the right who this person is, including everything you resist right now. Do it just for fun. And if it is not funny at all, do it because this is extremely beneficial for you!
Before you go into a meeting, have a difficult conversation with a business partner or go to your mother-in-law …..you can do this release-exercise.
The other person will immediately notice the difference although they will not know what is going on.
They don’t react on what you say but they react on your energetic message whether that is “I want your approval”, or “I want to control you back”…..
If your message is : “I give you the right to be who you are and I let go of wanting to control you back”…..then the resistance of this person will disappear. That is a natural law, it will have go.
Just imagine if the message is :” I love you”… But I will not challenge you too much;))
My invitation to you is to play with this! Try it out!! And please leave your comments. And of course when you are interested to do the whole cleaning exercise, you are welcome to get in touch.